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Archive for the ‘Raising Healthy Kids’ Category

What Every Kid Needs –and Money Can’t Buy Now Available

Posted in Book, Parenting, Raising Healthy Kids, tagged , , , , on December 19, 2012 | 2 Comments »

We are thrilled to announce that Keith’s new book What Every Kid Needs–and Money Can’t Buy is now available for purchase. This engaging, story-filled book will show how we can all be actively involved in raising healthy and responsible children.

According to Keith, “It‘s about learning the importance of catching kids doing something right. Not by focusing on “what’s the matter with our kids, but by focusing and acting on what matters to our kids,” that holds the greatest potential for all of us to offer every child and young person within our influence the opportunity to realize their potential.”

A master storyteller, Keith has been described in hundreds of audience evaluations as one of Canada’s most knowledgeable, inspirational, humorous and compelling speakers. In this book, he has taken his many years of experience of making a difference in the lives of kids, their families and their communities and shares with us, through his humour and gift for telling stories, how we can all help young people achieve their potential.

Keith is convinced we need to get back to the basics. That at its core, this whole notion of raising healthy kids is not based on money or programs or material things. It has more to do with sharing life experiences and relationships…of finding the time to build them together within our families, organizations, neighborhoods and communities. You’ll hear how parents, neighbours, grandparents, teachers, police officers and young people themselves throughout the world are building healthier, happier, and more respectful environments in which we can all live and share responsibility with our young people.

Click here for more information on the book and hear what others have said so far!

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Ever dream of giving your children a priceless Christmas gift…of your time?

Posted in Parenting, Raising Healthy Kids, tagged , , , , on November 24, 2011 | Leave a Comment »

Why not give a gift of time this Christmas? To your kids, nephews, nieces, grandchildren…maybe even the boy or girl next door. It’s easy!

If you’re a parent/caregiver, create a list of things you’d like to give your son/daughter that money alone can’t buy. If you’re a grandparent, uncle/aunt, friend or neighbour, simply take the time to run your idea by parents or responsible adults in the young people’s lives…and if permission’s granted…and it usually is…start getting creative about what young people need and want…and what you have to offer. Remember to not shortchange yourself. If you have a healthy interest in children, you have something to offer.

Many years ago my wife Maureen and I struggled with what for us had become a recurring question every Christmas. How do we take some of the commercial factor out of our Christmas giving to our three kids?  We agreed that for our first try we’d create a Christmas Gift Certificate. What follows is some of the ideas contained in a resulting letter to our kids. Just to spice it up a little we included a friend of our sons who’d recently experienced a major loss in his family.

If you happen to be an asset builder take the time to learn which of the forty life building blocks could be introduced or enhanced in the lives of the children you select. If the 40 Developmental  Asset idea is new to you, simply take a few minutes to think back to a significant person in your life who made a lasting difference by taking the time to share their experience, values, encouragement  with you. If you had one or more, and most of us do… it’s payback time folks.

As you glance over the ideas we came up with, you’ll find that not surprisingly some had a financial component… but always there is a more important non-monetary component. And incidentally, this approach gave all of us a year of fun and satisfaction which we seldom realized from more traditional money-based gifts under the tree.

Here’s a framework for the letter…. Enhanced somewhat to give you a wider range of possibilities to consider;

CHRISTMAS GIFT CERTIFICATE…. ISSUED DECEMBER 25th 1976

TO…
Here is where you put the individual name of each child/young person you wish to gift (i.e., daughters/sons, grandchildren, nephews, nieces, neighbors kids or a boy or girl important in your life). The more individualized and personalized the better, so go for individual Certificates rather than long lists of recipients.

 ENTITLING THEM TO THE FOLLOWING GIFTS WHICH MAY BE REDEEMED BY THEM ON OR BEFORE DECEMBER 25th, 1977

  1. Your attendance with us. January 4, 1976 – Stampede Corral to watch the Harlem Globetrotters play the California Chiefs. I buy the tickets. You girls/guys responsible to respond if they want audience volunteers!
  2. Our promise to attend as many of your games, contests, recitals,  tryouts, track meets, bottle drives and miscellaneous activities as we can, with the accompanying  promise we’ll cheer for you when you participate well and fairly and tell you quietly afterwards when  we think there’s room for improvement.
  3. As much time as it takes us together to build models, repair bikes, prepare meals, cut lawns and keep our houses from falling apart.
  4. That custom-built two storey doll house we’ve been talking about for years. We do the building and furnishing…you do the designing and cleaning when it’s finished.
  5. At least two fishing trips during 1976 – maybe one ice fishing expedition followed by a trip to the Hot Springs.
  6. Accompanying you to a father and son banquet and at least two other activities you think it’s important we attend together.
  7. A one-week camping or canoeing trip to the Bowron Lakes in British Columbia – provided of course that you do the cooking and paddling and I’m left with the eating and sleeping.
  8. So we all can better understand and appreciate the importance of volunteering…we’ll arrange for all of us to offer our services for a day at a Seniors Home, soup kitchen, children’s agency or somewhere each of  you feel you want to make a difference in the lives of others less fortunate that us.
  9.  A promise we’ll go for as many walks and bike rides with you as we can because we’re going to have to get in shape if we intend to keep all of these promises.
  10. Lastly and maybe most importantly – as many hours of our time as you need during the year to talk about things that are important to you because we know kids have a lot of things they want to talk about like school, friends, dreams, honesty/respect, compassion, racism, girls/boys, sadness, happiness, war & peace,  Harry Potter, and Xbox.

Like all really important gifts in life, this one has little value in dollars and is as much for the giver as it is for the receiver. You see the more you collectively and individually you use these gift certificates, the more happy and satisfying 1976 will be for us. Interesting thought at Christmas eh! That you and I will attain our highest levels of personal development when we’re doing something for somebody else!

Merry Christmas to the four of you… luv ya!

**Quick Update…many people have started to contact me directly to say that you plan to do this for your own family which is so amazing! I would love to hear about what you have planned and then you can be part of this storytelling process next year. Please take a moment to send me what you decided to do with your children…I want to hear your story.

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Lessons My Children and Grandchildren have taught me…100 ways to let kids know you care!

Posted in Parenting, Raising Healthy Kids, tagged , , , , on July 1, 2011 | Leave a Comment »

  1. Remember their friends names.
  2. Share their worries.
  3.  Listen to…and hear…their stories.
  4. Tell them you love them.
  5. Teach them by example.
  6. Apologize when you are wrong.
  7. Play games with them.
  8. Introduce them to the magic of doing something for somebody else.
  9. Teach honesty by being honest.
  10. Recognize and honor their achievements.
  11. Celebrate their uniqueness.
  12. Share their disappointments.
  13. Teach respect by respecting them.
  14. Learn to listen.. listen to learn.
  15. Set fair and consistent boundaries.
  16. Be a gracious winner and loser.
  17. Play make-believe.
  18. Encourage racial tolerance by modeling tolerance through your actions.
  19. Ask for their opinions and advice.
  20. Marvel at their accomplishments.
  21. Focus on their potential… not on their limitations.
  22. Be courteous to them and in their presence.
  23. With support,  help them to debrief their mistakes.
  24. Laugh together…a lot!
  25. Say please and thank you.
  26. Marvel at sunrises together.
  27. Never break a promise.
  28. Skip stones across the water.
  29. Focus on their kindness.
  30. Look into their eyes when you talk to them.
  31. Surprise them.
  32. Write encouraging chalk messages on their driveways.
  33. Teach them to love and respect animals.
  34. Have adventures where they are the heroes/heroines.
  35. Smile when you greet them.
  36. Bake and burn cookies together.
  37. Marvel in the smoke of a campfire.
  38. Introduce them to people they want to meet.
  39. Walk together barefoot in the sand.
  40. Ask them to help plan the time you spend together.
  41. Have a backwards day or activity.
  42. Together…plan a “bring a friend” day or activity.
  43. Burn marshmallows together.
  44. Believe in them.
  45. Together… find the child in both of you.
  46. Let them surprise you.
  47. Show trust…let them cover you in sand.
  48. Marvel at their stories.
  49. Cheer at their games.
  50. Dream together.
  51. Together, watch in awe the setting sun.
  52. Validate their value.
  53. Count satellites together.
  54. Laugh at the rain and snow.
  55. Get wet… be silly… have fun!
  56. Build a snowman together.
  57. Search for four leaf clovers.
  58. Say no and mean it.
  59. Say yes and follow through.
  60. Make up stories where they are heroes/heroines.
  61. Keep them safe.
  62. Take them fishing…put the worm on the hook.
  63. Respect them no matter what.
  64. Sing together.
  65. Help them with their homework… let them help you with yours.
  66. Fly and crash kites together.
  67. Substitute TV time with adventure together time.
  68. Empower them to be their best.
  69. Catch them doing something they’d want to be caught doing.
  70. Together… marvel at the moon.
  71. Praise their preciousness.
  72. Value their opinions.
  73. Hold their hand when it matters.
  74. Make snow angels together.
  75. Listen to their music.
  76. Cry together if it seems right.
  77. Expect their best… not perfection!
  78. Tell them how lucky you are to have them.
  79. Play hopscotch together.
  80. Focus on.” What matters to them… not on what’s the matter with them.”
  81. Be happy, be kind, be enthusiastic, be responsible….simply be a good role model.
  82. Tell them when they’re wrong and then help them find a better way.
  83. When you’ve disagreed… tell them you’ll still always love them.
  84. Comfort them when they are frightened.
  85. Volunteer together.
  86. Be kind to each other.
  87. Celebrate admirable/responsible behavior.
  88. Teach them the gift of giving.
  89. Love them as if they are irreplaceable… they are!
  90. Solve problems together.
  91. Read to them; ask them to read to you.
  92. Be fair when saying no… follow-through as if you meant it.
  93. Play ” I spy” with them.
  94. Be the last to break a hug.
  95. Hang their artwork on your fridge door.
  96. Offer options and help them choose the best for them.
  97. Laugh over spilled milk.
  98. Kids going to school with different coloured socks doesn’t really matter, choose your battles carefully!
  99. Remember; what we seek from our children, we must first of all give them.
  100.  NEVER…NEVER…NEVER GIVE UP!

These are some of the lessons I have learned over the years…share yours with me through the comments section! I am sure between us we can come up with another 100 ways to let kids know we care!

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Dateline Prince George…April 16th 2011..The BC Crime Prevention Northern Symposium

Posted in Presentations, Raising Healthy Kids, tagged , , on April 29, 2011 | Leave a Comment »

I was invited to keynote a recent BC Crime Prevention Symposium in Prince George. That’s when and where I came to better understand the grassroots philosophy of an organization steeped in a tradition of crime prevention, community engagement and service delivery through a province-wide team of committed volunteers.

And so you ask…What real difference does it make? Does Crime Prevention really work? The answer would be a resounding YES! According to BC Solicitor General Shirley Bond, “Crime levels in British Columbia are at their lowest levels in our history.”

In opening the event, the Solicitor General acknowledged BC Crime Prevention professionals and volunteers as important players in achieving some heartening outcomes. Minister Bond noted BC crime rates are heading in the right direction.

Trust and co-operation between the community and police are showing encouraging signs of improving and making a positive difference.  Crime prevention volunteers are actively supporting the work of the RCMP and local police services in communities throughout the province by striving, where appropriate, to “Take Back Their Community.”  In particular, volunteer citizens of Williams Lake BC were honoured at the conference for their achievements in bringing respect and safety to the streets of their city.

It was hard to spot naivety among attendees at this conference.  They seek out challenges to community safety, put personal effort into meeting them and never lose sight of the reality that the first line of defence in reducing crime is to prevent the problems from occurring in the first place.

They led me to believe the notion of a victimless crime is probably fictitious… that any criminal act diminishes someone’s life…that any crime is one too many.

I’m told they’re always looking for volunteers who are willing and able to lead by example. Check out their website at www.bccpa.org.

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What the Q’wemtsin First Nations People Taught Me about Asset Building Last Friday

Posted in Presentations, Raising Healthy Kids, tagged , , on April 5, 2011 | 2 Comments »

You heard it right!  I went to Sun Peaks in Kamloops on the pretence of conducting a day-long Asset Building Workshop as part of a Suicide Prevention event offered by the Q’wemtsin Health Society, but in the end I came back learning more from them than I think they learned from me.

I met a remarkable group of about 60 Aboriginal parents, children, young people, grandparents, and community leaders who quietly shared with me their deeply held love, enthusiasm, wisdom, devotion and concern for their young people. We had a long conversation about how they were giving, and could increasingly give, their children what they needed to succeed in life.

It was for me a memorable conversation. Had you been there, here’s what you might have seen and heard and learned.

“Like a dream catcher, developmental assets
are the supporting threads in a young
person’s life that can keep them away
from harm and invite goodness.”

 

  • If you ever witness and really hear the sometimes haunting significance of native drumming and chanting, you can be drawn towards better understanding their passion for life, sharing, caring and their reverence for the environment and their love of their children.
  • The native game of Lahal, while a continuing enigma to this first-time watching white man, is a remarkable blend of drumming/chanting, challenge, mystery, fun, complexity, laughter, patience and respect. How many games end with every single participant moving slowly through a circle shaking hands/high-fiving each participant and thanking them for their time and sportsmanship?
  • Native children are first and foremost loved and cherished…not only by their parents but all the significant others who work at creating that Mythical Village we hear so much about….the one that is imperative to the raising of healthy, responsible and caring kids.
  • Money can’t be, and isn’t, the measure to be used in determining how healthy children are nourished, raised and supported. Love spoken, and given freely and frequently, is a powerful substitute.
  • The greatest challenge for all of us who desire and work to be significant and positive influences in children’s lives… is to acknowledge and address the simple truth that our kids gather 20% of what they get from us based on our words (i.e., what we tell them). The other 80% they learn from watching our behaviour. Like all of us who seek to give young people what they need to succeed in life, First Nations people understand, and are working hard, to address the challenge of becoming effective mentors, role models and molders of young minds.
  • Like most workshop attendees, the Q’wemtsin folks took the opportunity to put to paper some of their thoughts about the workshop and what they planned to do personally to translate asset building into life changing action when they returned to the children and young people in their families, villages, neighbourhoods, schools and lives. You may find something familiar in what they had to say.

This Suicide Prevention Workshop required participants ranging in ages from 9 – 70 to commit to two days of training, learning, sharing and fun. That involvement led to participant outcome evaluation quotes and ideas which suggest young Aboriginal children/young people and the significant adults in their lives  have reasons to anticipate with pride and confidence, the future of youthful members of the Q’wemtsin Nation.

Hear their words my friends…

“Listen to youth more & lecture them less…just help out more…very good stories…listen more – talk less…talk to lonely kids in my school…tell my parents about what I am learning…talk more with family instead of holding back…communicate with my kids more. Make more time and spend more time with them. Listen to them…It’s very important…Having family here was a positive experience for us. Thanks…Get involved more with developing activities & programs and encouraging youth & child involvement. Extend invitations to parents & caregivers to get involved…I intend to try and put forward ideas in which communities can come together and encourage each other…Very good ideas!…Cool! Do more of these workshops. Have one day of family fun stuff for family. Things to do together. Wicked!…What will work for me I will use…Excellent presentation…Good workshop…Too many things I’ll do differently to list…It  was fun!…I’ll take all I learned home with me…It was really cool…Be more open to all children. Listen to their ideas because what they have to say is important! Have younger children more involved…Share and do more with my family. Include everyone of all ages in our community…One day at a time will make a big difference for both myself and my children. I, as a father, will be a good person and a good leader with the help of my kids, friends and family. Have a nice day and say I love you more.”

Many thanks, my Q’wemstin friends…. I learned a lot!…. Keith

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Five Minutes Towards Better Relationships with Kids

Posted in Parenting, Raising Healthy Kids, Video, tagged , , , on March 11, 2011 | 1 Comment »

Three hundred seconds towards better relationships with children and youth. In this short video I share with you some of my ideas and beliefs around what we as adults can do to have a positive impact on kids lives. It’s not what is the matter with kids, but what matters to them.

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To blog or not to blog … that is the question!

Posted in Raising Healthy Kids, tagged , , on February 2, 2011 | Leave a Comment »

 

It occurs to me that  it may be helpful as you view this new Website to listen to one man’s opinion of the challenges he identified.

“Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers.”

 

Sound familiar?  Ever had these thoughts yourself? Bring to mind a boy or girl you know…live with? I’ve got to tell you it’s crossed my mind. Yet it was written by the Greek philosopher Socrates in Athens—(469 BC – 399 BC)

 

And so, for me, it becomes more clear. The challenge of raising healthy, responsible and caring kids has throughout history had a beginning but no end. And it’s not enough that we simply point our “whose fault is it finger?” at excessive television use, text messaging, ease of access to alcohol and drugs, divorce, and a lack of respect…and the list goes on and on! The reality is that in the face of all these negative factors, the vast majority of our young people are destined to grow to happy, respectful and responsible adulthood. And so to the central question this Website and blog will strive to answer…

“ Why do some kids appear to grow up with ease, while others struggle?”

If there’s a lesson in all this it probably lies in the reality that raising healthy kids has always been, and always will be, one of the most important challenges most of us will face in life. Fundamental to meeting this challenge is acquiring the knowledge, insights, practical ideas and support networks we need and that have always hallmarked the lives of those among us who find ways to become significant and positive influences in the lives of children and young people.

For that reason, this Website/Blog and your comments will tend towards recognition that most young people and the adults in their lives are part of the solution…not the problem. We’ll focus on strength-based approaches, spending time finding ways to catch our kids doing something right…rather than dwelling primarily on looking for and condemning their mistakes. Don’t get me wrong…As a father and grandfather, I’m the first to acknowledge all young people need boundaries, expectations and consequences in order to thrive in nourishing and safe families, schools, neighborhoods and activities. They also need positive role models, opportunities to give rather than take, and the chance to demonstrate their amazing talent to make a positive difference in the world through connecting with adults in surroundings that instill in them important values like honesty, respect, tolerance, industry, enthusiasm and productivity.

And so back to the….. To Blog….. or Not to Blog !…This  blog  will be about catching our kids doing something right…the effectiveness of teaching by example, the importance of reasonable boundaries and appropriate consequences. We’ll share 40 practical life building blocks ( Developmental Assets) each of us can introduce/enhance in kids lives every day which can protect them from behaviors that inhibit their  potential…at the same time  promoting  positive family relations, school achievement, and happy responsible living.

If you like what you’ve seen so far? If you have friends, relatives, neighbors, workmates who you consider fellow travelers with you in this journey of raising healthy kids?  Why not forward this blog to them? By doing so you’ll increase your knowledgeable support network and help fill the reservoir of experiences and ideas that can be shared and debated.

Let me know what you think of this idea. Better still, give me some suggestions about what my next blog can focus on. Share your ideas, successes, challenges and questions. Only then will I have something to blog about!

Thanks
Keith

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Time To Reflect

Posted in Raising Healthy Kids, tagged , , on January 19, 2011 | Leave a Comment »

In today’s sometimes hectic world of scheduling play dates, school, music, sports, quality time-together, it’s important to remember our kids need time to simply be themselves, to watch the spray from a garden hose, gaze in wonderment at the moon…. and share a quiet moment with friends in places not surrounded by keep off or do not disturb signs. Time to reflect on who they are and who they might become.

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It is simply a matter of time

Posted in Raising Healthy Kids, tagged , , on December 21, 2010 | 3 Comments »

You heard it right here!  Good news for parents and everyone who’s intent on making a positive difference in the lives of children and teens…. Raising healthy, happy and responsible kids isn’t primarily about money, the size of the house you live in or how hot a car you drive. It is about the amount of time you and I spend teaching important values to young people who are or could be within our influence.  And while our words are important… it’s our actions that are irreplaceable… it’s about role modelling, teaching by example… it’s about children’s perception of how we live our lives… And so this website will be about sharing stories and examples of how each of us has the capacity to change the lives of children for the better every day…  at no cost except for the time it takes. Instead of focussing on,” what’s the matter with our kids?”… we’ll emphasize, “what matters to our kids!”

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