keithpattinson

Why not give a gift of time this Christmas? To your kids, nephews, nieces, grandchildren…maybe even the boy or girl next door. It’s easy!

If you’re a parent/caregiver, create a list of things you’d like to give your son/daughter that money alone can’t buy. If you’re a grandparent, uncle/aunt, friend or neighbour, simply take the time to run your idea by parents or responsible adults in the young people’s lives…and if permission’s granted…and it usually is…start getting creative about what young people need and want…and what you have to offer. Remember to not shortchange yourself. If you have a healthy interest in children, you have something to offer.

Many years ago my wife Maureen and I struggled with what for us had become a recurring question every Christmas. How do we take some of the commercial factor out of our Christmas giving to our three kids?  We agreed that for our first try we’d create a Christmas Gift Certificate. What follows is some of the ideas contained in a resulting letter to our kids. Just to spice it up a little we included a friend of our sons who’d recently experienced a major loss in his family.

If you happen to be an asset builder take the time to learn which of the forty life building blocks could be introduced or enhanced in the lives of the children you select. If the 40 Developmental  Asset idea is new to you, simply take a few minutes to think back to a significant person in your life who made a lasting difference by taking the time to share their experience, values, encouragement  with you. If you had one or more, and most of us do… it’s payback time folks.

As you glance over the ideas we came up with, you’ll find that not surprisingly some had a financial component… but always there is a more important non-monetary component. And incidentally, this approach gave all of us a year of fun and satisfaction which we seldom realized from more traditional money-based gifts under the tree.

Here’s a framework for the letter…. Enhanced somewhat to give you a wider range of possibilities to consider;

CHRISTMAS GIFT CERTIFICATE…. ISSUED DECEMBER 25^th 1976

TO…
Here is where you put the individual name of each child/young person you wish to gift (i.e., daughters/sons, grandchildren, nephews, nieces, neighbors kids or a boy or girl important in your life). The more individualized and personalized the better, so go for individual Certificates rather than long lists of recipients.

 ENTITLING THEM TO THE FOLLOWING GIFTS WHICH MAY BE REDEEMED BY THEM ON OR BEFORE DECEMBER 25^th, 1977

1. Your attendance with us. January 4, 1976 – Stampede Corral to watch the Harlem Globetrotters play the California Chiefs. I buy the tickets. You girls/guys responsible to respond if they want audience volunteers!
2. Our promise to attend as many of your games, contests, recitals,  tryouts, track meets, bottle drives and miscellaneous activities as we can, with the accompanying  promise we’ll cheer for you when you participate well and fairly and tell you quietly afterwards when  we think there’s room for improvement.
3. As much time as it takes us together to build models, repair bikes, prepare meals, cut lawns and keep our houses from falling apart.
4. That custom-built two storey doll house we’ve been talking about for years. We do the building and furnishing…you do the designing and cleaning when it’s finished.
5. At least two fishing trips during 1976 – maybe one ice fishing expedition followed by a trip to the Hot Springs.
6. Accompanying you to a father and son banquet and at least two other activities you think it’s important we attend together.
7. A one-week camping or canoeing trip to the Bowron Lakes in British Columbia – provided of course that you do the cooking and paddling and I’m left with the eating and sleeping.
8. So we all can better understand and appreciate the importance of volunteering…we’ll arrange for all of us to offer our services for a day at a Seniors Home, soup kitchen, children’s agency or somewhere each of  you feel you want to make a difference in the lives of others less fortunate that us.
9.  A promise we’ll go for as many walks and bike rides with you as we can because we’re going to have to get in shape if we intend to keep all of these promises.
10. Lastly and maybe most importantly – as many hours of our time as you need during the year to talk about things that are important to you because we know kids have a lot of things they want to talk about like school, friends, dreams, honesty/respect, compassion, racism, girls/boys, sadness, happiness, war & peace,  Harry Potter, and Xbox.

Like all really important gifts in life, this one has little value in dollars and is as much for the giver as it is for the receiver. You see the more you collectively and individually you use these gift certificates, the more happy and satisfying 1976 will be for us. Interesting thought at Christmas eh! That you and I will attain our highest levels of personal development when we’re doing something for somebody else!

Merry Christmas to the four of you… luv ya!

**Quick Update…many people have started to contact me directly to say that you plan to do this for your own family which is so amazing! I would love to hear about what you have planned and then you can be part of this storytelling process next year. Please take a moment to send me what you decided to do with your children…I want to hear your story.

1. Remember their friends names.
2. Share their worries.
3.  Listen to…and hear…their stories.
4. Tell them you love them.
5. Teach them by example.
6. Apologize when you are wrong.
7. Play games with them.
8. Introduce them to the magic of doing something for somebody else.
9. Teach honesty by being honest.
10. Recognize and honor their achievements.
11. Celebrate their uniqueness.
12. Share their disappointments.
13. Teach respect by respecting them.
14. Learn to listen.. listen to learn.
15. Set fair and consistent boundaries.
16. Be a gracious winner and loser.
17. Play make-believe.
18. Encourage racial tolerance by modeling tolerance through your actions.
19. Ask for their opinions and advice.
20. Marvel at their accomplishments.
21. Focus on their potential… not on their limitations.
22. Be courteous to them and in their presence.
23. With support,  help them to debrief their mistakes.
24. Laugh together…a lot!
25. Say please and thank you.
26. Marvel at sunrises together.
27. Never break a promise.
28. Skip stones across the water.
29. Focus on their kindness.
30. Look into their eyes when you talk to them.
31. Surprise them.
32. Write encouraging chalk messages on their driveways.
33. Teach them to love and respect animals.
34. Have adventures where they are the heroes/heroines.
35. Smile when you greet them.
36. Bake and burn cookies together.
37. Marvel in the smoke of a campfire.
38. Introduce them to people they want to meet.
39. Walk together barefoot in the sand.
40. Ask them to help plan the time you spend together.
41. Have a backwards day or activity.
42. Together…plan a “bring a friend” day or activity.
43. Burn marshmallows together.
44. Believe in them.
45. Together… find the child in both of you.
46. Let them surprise you.
47. Show trust…let them cover you in sand.
48. Marvel at their stories.
49. Cheer at their games.
50. Dream together.
51. Together, watch in awe the setting sun.
52. Validate their value.
53. Count satellites together.
54. Laugh at the rain and snow.
55. Get wet… be silly… have fun!
56. Build a snowman together.
57. Search for four leaf clovers.
58. Say no and mean it.
59. Say yes and follow through.
60. Make up stories where they are heroes/heroines.
61. Keep them safe.
62. Take them fishing…put the worm on the hook.
63. Respect them no matter what.
64. Sing together.
65. Help them with their homework… let them help you with yours.
66. Fly and crash kites together.
67. Substitute TV time with adventure together time.
68. Empower them to be their best.
69. Catch them doing something they’d want to be caught doing.
70. Together… marvel at the moon.
71. Praise their preciousness.
72. Value their opinions.
73. Hold their hand when it matters.
74. Make snow angels together.
75. Listen to their music.
76. Cry together if it seems right.
77. Expect their best… not perfection!
78. Tell them how lucky you are to have them.
79. Play hopscotch together.
80. Focus on.” What matters to them… not on what’s the matter with them.”
81. Be happy, be kind, be enthusiastic, be responsible….simply be a good role model.
82. Tell them when they’re wrong and then help them find a better way.
83. When you’ve disagreed… tell them you’ll still always love them.
84. Comfort them when they are frightened.
85. Volunteer together.
86. Be kind to each other.
87. Celebrate admirable/responsible behavior.
88. Teach them the gift of giving.
89. Love them as if they are irreplaceable… they are!
90. Solve problems together.
91. Read to them; ask them to read to you.
92. Be fair when saying no… follow-through as if you meant it.
93. Play ” I spy” with them.
94. Be the last to break a hug.
95. Hang their artwork on your fridge door.
96. Offer options and help them choose the best for them.
97. Laugh over spilled milk.
98. Kids going to school with different coloured socks doesn’t really matter, choose your battles carefully!
99. Remember; what we seek from our children, we must first of all give them.
100.  NEVER…NEVER…NEVER GIVE UP!

These are some of the lessons I have learned over the years…share yours with me through the comments section! I am sure between us we can come up with another 100 ways to let kids know we care!